A few days ago, Desirae and I made our usual trip to Costco, though we went a little later than usual. This of course means we bought way more than we needed, because when you’re hungry, how can you resist a giant bag of Doritos at a wholesale price?
Anyway, remember the other day how I told you about The Lion King and Veggie Straws? Well, I think I’ve created a monster.
Desirae is old enough now that she usually sits in the cart on our shopping trips (though I still have a very close relationship with my Ergo 360). The two of us were happily perusing through Costco together. As usual, everyone and their mother’s second cousin stopped us to comment on how adorable Desirae is. People just can’t resist her bright blue eyes and chubby cheeks. Or, maybe it’s just that she intensely stares at every person she sees and once they look at her, she smiles and bashfully glances away. She knows how to play up her good looks, if you know what I mean.
At some point in the shopping trip, I threw a massive box of Cheerios into my shopping cart. What respectable ten month old baby doesn’t need a two pound box of Cheerios? Desirae recognized the new loot right away. She was a little perturbed when she realized she wasn’t going to be allowed to throw Cheerios all over the Costco floor, but she got over it.
I usually take the same route through Costco, and that means I always walk through the snack section last. Well, on this particular trip, I was glad it was my last stop.
I turned down the aisle full of chips and salty snacks, and several feet ahead of me was the massive stack of Veggie Straws. Desirae turned to survey this new aisle of goodies and spotted the Veggie Straws ahead of us. I wasn’t even near the Veggie Straws when she began boisterously crying out for her salty snack. In a matter of seconds, this sweet and inquisitive girl was replaced by a crazed food-monger. (Anyone who has seen Desirae eat, knows she can slam down a meal meant for a grown man, so this outburst really shouldn’t have surprised me.) Since the yelling didn’t reunite her with her precious snack, she resorted to reaching over the side of the cart, with all of her might, toward the Veggie Straws. It was like a scene straight out of The Lord of the Rings when Gollum was reaching out over the precipice of Mount Doom yelling, “Mmmmyyyyyyy precious!!!” Except in my case The Precious was Veggies Straws and the chasm of Mount Doom was the Costco floor. I just had to hurry up and throw those Veggie Straws in the shopping cart before Desirae fell to her demise.
How in the world does such a tiny person have such big opinions about her snack of choice?
When the precious treasure was placed in the cart, Desirae was still not appeased. Next thing I know she is turning her head and arching her back trying to grab the Veggie Straws behind her and pull them into her seat. At that point, I knew this shopping trip was over. She was not going to be happy until she was eating and spilling those Veggie Straws all over Costco. Thankfully, I had already completed my shopping list, so I just made a beeline for the checkout lane. I tossed the over-sized bag of Veggie Straws on the cashier’s counter while Desirae was happily distracted by the two cashiers and fellow Costco member telling her how adorable she was. After I paid for all the items I really didn’t need in the first place, I was able to safely exit Costco with my little food-monger, and drive home.
There is no moral to the story, except that if you must go shopping, don’t go to Costco just before dinner. And bring a shopping list, a very strict shopping list.